The last month was a whirlwind dose in reality for me. There are parts of my psyche still wishing I could wake up from the nightmare. No matter how I look at it, life in my little corner of the world changed forever. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

When life-changing events happen, we often step back and review our lives and priorities, realigning our paths with what really matters. Are we on the path we originally set out on? If so, is it still the right path? If not, is this new path the right path, or have we deviated so far from the dream that we need to shift our focus?

That's what the last month turned out to be for me. That's really what the last few months have been about for me. And this is what I want my readers to do today.

Sit back and examine the path you're on. Are you still working towards your hopes and dreams? Or did life take an unexpected turn? Do you need to adjust things to get yourself back on track? Or do you prefer this new path better? Be honest with yourself.

It's time to assess how far from the dream your current path has taken you.

The path of uncertain dreams

Our hopes and dreams dictate the steps we need to take towards our goals. But if we don't understand what our ultimate dreams are, we can be persuaded to pursue goals that others have set for us. And it's hard to break free of those chains to define our own path.

Children often fall into this trap, living the dreams that their parents have set for them, even into adulthood. And when the children rebel… I can think of many stories centered on that theme.

Writers are prone to this phenomenon, too. We often start on our journeys with no end point in mind. We just want to write a book, heading down the road of publication with delusions of grandeur, but with no firm picture what that grandeur means for us exactly. So, we settle for what others tell us to do.

Sometimes, it's because we don't know any better, but more often than not, it's because we're afraid to reach for what we want. Somewhere between A and B, someone convinced us that our dreams weren't possible—and we believed them.

I can tell you with absolute certainty that nothing is impossible if you want it badly enough.

Turn "can't" into "Watch me!"

And the first step in making others eat their words is understanding where you ultimately want to go.

Understanding your hopes and dreams

Understanding our hopes and dreams for our writing careers is about more than just understanding the steps that we need to take to get there. It can also help with the self-doubt monster. Holding firm to our hopes and dreams provides the constant compass we need to remind ourselves that another writer's successes are not a reflection on ourselves. Their steps are not necessarily the same steps that we need to take.

Every writer is different.

It's only natural to compare ourselves to others. When we understand our own goals, we are able to shift that comparison to something that is more inspirational rather than defeatist. And the self-doubt monster is unable to strangle us.

Below is a list of questions to help you find a sense of focus for your writing career. There are no right or wrong answers to any of these questions.

I recommend that you keep a record of your answers, just so you have something to refer to in those moments when you start measuring your own journey against someone else's dreams. (A downloadable handout has been provided at the bottom of this post just for this purpose.)

1) Why did you start writing?

As writers, we have a passion for the things we write. Without that passion, writing can be a chore. But we can sometimes forget why we started writing in the first place.

A children's writer might have started writing stories for their children or grandchildren, but keeps doing it because other children love the stories too.

A research scientist might have been hunting for a resource material that highlights a particular aspect of their chosen field, but unable to find something suitable for the layman, they might write a book of their own.

Or maybe you were a reader who thought you could write something better than the dribble you were reading, so you started off on your journey.

Understanding your beginnings can help you understand your path as a whole.

2) Why do you continue to write?

We might have started writing for one reason, but more often than not, those reasons morph into other driving factors. What are they?

(For me, I keep writing because these voices in my head don't know how to shut up!)

As an extra exercise, list all the reasons you are motivated to write. With your list complete, ask yourself how important each reason is. Rank them. Eventually, you'll come to the one true answer as to why you continue to write.

3) If you could publish a book tomorrow, how would you know that the book was successful?

Yes, this question assumes that you eventually want to publish, but understanding how you measure success is not always easy, especially when success is not necessarily measured in dollar values.

When answering this question, I want you to focus on just the one book. We'll come to looking at your overall career in a moment.

4) If you could have your pick of publishing houses or imprints, which publisher would you choose? Why?

There will be some self-published writers (and pre-published writers who have already decided to head down self-published road) who will see this question and be tempted to skip over it, but you should still answer it.

For the self-published writer, this question is an exercise in understanding the business that is publishing, and understanding your market. It's about identifying your competition for the readership. Understand the quirks associated with your particular sub-genre, include covers, blurb descriptions, frequency of release, and how the books are distributed.

It is also part of the grandeur dreams. Remember that E. L. James (50 Shades of Gray) and Charlene Harris (Sookie Stakehouse Diaries) started out as self-published writers, and now look at them. Consider this in your examination of your hopes and dreams.

Traditionally published writers should look at this as an exercise in understanding the current players in the publishing industry.

This one will take a bit of research for some people, because they might not know what publishers are out there for their genre.

5) Imagine your perfect writing career. What does that look like?

Some writers strive to make enough money off their writing so they can leave their day jobs. Others just want to see their books on the shelves next to their favorite authors.

If you could have any dream you wished, what would you like to achieve with your writing career?

Think about the genre(s) you would like to potentially work in. Consider any prizes that you might want to aim for. Is there a particular legacy that you're aiming to leave behind?

There is a reason dreams are meant to be big: so we can grow into them.

6) What writers do you admire? If you could mimic their careers, what aspects of their careers would you like to mimic?

This question is about more than just the writing of a given writer. I want you to look at all aspects of their careers. Look at what else it is they do besides writing.

How do they make a living? Are they traditionally published, self-published, or a mixture of both? Assess their production schedules (how often do they release a new book). Look at what they do during book releases, i.e., book tours and launch events. And yes, look at their writing.

Be critical.

Look at everything that the writers you admire do and ask yourself why you admire that particular aspect of their careers.

7) How will you decide that your writing career was successful?

Now that you've made notes of your ideal writing career and assessed the writing careers of the writers you admire, it's time to work out how you'll know that you've made it as a writer.

This is not the same as understanding how you'll know if a book was successful, but the success of a book contributes to the success of a career.

I should point out that this particular question is the one that trips up most writers, because the benchmarks keep moving. It's human nature to think that we're never going to be good enough—and so our definition of success keeps changing.

It is for this reason that I encourage everyone to write their answers down. Trust me, it does help with the self-doubt.

8) What are some key steps needed for your chosen path?

It's okay if you don't have a full road map for how to get from where you are now to where you ultimately want to be. You don't need all the answers in one self-reflecting examination. But by understanding the end goal (how you will know your career was successful), then you can make some choices about your own path without the influence of someone else's dreams.

Do you want to head down traditional publication roads or self-publication? What do you need to do and what do you need to learn?

Identify some roadblocks currently in front of you and start thinking about how you'll overcome them.

9) Pick one or two steps identified above. Identify the micro-steps to achieve them and put an action plan into place. Define some SMART goals (both short term and long term) and get to work.

This is about taking the big goal and turning it into a series of bite-sized goals. By focusing your efforts on the little goals, it's surprising how far you can progress towards that big goal without realizing it.

But that's exactly what this is about: understanding the steps needed to turn your hopes and dreams for your writing career into reality.

For those who need a little reminder about making SMART goals, visit this post here.

Record and reassess frequently

You may have found some of these questions particularly difficult. That will be because we humans have a bad habit of thinking we'll never be good enough. We might set for ourselves one benchmark, but the benchmark is constantly moving.

Hey, I'm guilty as charge on this one, so I know what I'm talking about.

This is why I suggest you write your answers down! It provides a record that you can look back on and remind yourself of how far you really have come.

Bookmark this post, and on a regular basis, revisit these questions. Spend the time to work out the next steps in your writing career.

I reassess my own answers to these questions every six months. And if I notice that my answers have changed, I will ask, "Why have they change?"

This industry is a hard industry to crack, of that there is no doubt. If you want to make your own stamp on it, know what you want that stamp to ultimately look like.