Show the emotions. Show the setting. Show the complexities of your mind. Show this. Show that.
Oh, before I forget, tell that ride through the countryside. Tell that little backstory through dialogue. Tell the oral history.
When does one use tell? Should I always show? At what point is it too much show and not enough tell?
Show. Show. Show. Tell. Tell. Tell. It can seriously do your head in.
Understanding the difference between the two is one thing. Striking a balance between them to keep your reader engaged is another. For the moment, let's focus on the first issue.
Exactly what is show?
The concept of show vs tell is often one that is misunderstood. To put it simply, it’s the difference between telling the reader how a character feels and what they are doing versus describing the added details that will allow a reader to come to their own conclusions. That's really what it comes down to: letting the reader develop their own image about the scene based on your descriptions.
Books like The Lord of the Rings are time-tested classics because of the sweeping visuals that take the reader into another world. So much imagery is present. Should you strive to mimic Tolkien with your show? Well... HELL NO! Those books were written for another era — and a completely different audience. Today's society is caught up in cinema and TV — and they want it now! Concise storytelling is what is needed today, but the concept of the visual, as presented by Tolkien, are still necessary to carry your readers into another universe.
The simplest example that I can give you about the difference between show and tell is to highlight how one might present a character whom is sad. Instead of saying they are sad, you would say that their shoulders drooped and they wore a frown. Their eyes might even glisten with moisture. However, these visual descriptions could relate to other things too.
Take the following passage (something I wrote specifically to demonstrate the concept of show, but I believe it will find its way into a manuscript somewhere):
Her hair matted against her forehead, and droplets dripped from her chin. Her clothes clung to her. She scowled as she shivered from the chill. It didn’t help that she had been standing in the pouring rain for nearly half an hour. Jimmy was late — like always.
In this example, you get a quick overview of the character, starting with the fact that this unnamed character is a drowned rat and not happy about it. No doubt Jimmy would have some tall talking to do when he finally shows up — whoever Jimmy is.
You will notice that in the above example there is an element of show (the description of the drowned rat) combined with the tell (the fact that she's been standing in the rain for half an hour, waiting for Jimmy). That is really the key: combining the two in a natural manner.
The real beauty of working with show is that it helps to elaborate on story elements, setting the scene and the mood for the writing.
Take the following example of Tell converted into Show:
The Tell:
It was raining as I sat at the window drinking my tea. The tea helped to ward off the chill in my bones. The weather this time of year always made me feel cold and empty. I hated the gray overcast sky.
Let's ignore that the sentences don't flow off the tongue when connected together. Part of that will be associated with the level of tell present. There are elements of show in this passage, but it could be enhanced, helping to create the true feeling of the situation.
The Show — Possible Rewrite:
The rain hammered against the window. Lightning cracked and thunder rumbled. No matter how strong the sun was, it was never going to burn through that sheet of gray.
I scowled as I shivered, struggling to pick up the steaming mug of tea. Why couldn't it be summer now?
The concept of show does add to the word count, but it also adds that little bit more to the story.
Another way to think of show is to imagine your story as a movie or TV show. There needs to be enough detail for a scriptwriter to convert your manuscript into a screenplay. Show is the written form of visual; however, within written storytelling, you have all five senses that you can play with, plus internal thoughts and musings.
For writers desiring to pursue fiction, I highly recommend the Thesaurus series by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi. There are currently nine printed books in the series (a tenth is electronic only). As I mentioned in a previous post, these books are all about adding the little descriptive elements into your stories to help allude to a particular situation without telling your readers exactly what your characters are experiencing. I use these books myself when writing.
Show is about perspective.
Depending on who your character is, they will see different things about this teacup and saucer.
While I talk about show as being a method of creating the visuals associated with a scene, it is really about perspective — how a character sees the world.
Take the teacup and saucer shown in the image to the right (assuming that it hasn't moved on your reader). A character who is like me — a woman in her forties who is dying for a decent latte — would likely notice the nice china, but would focus on the amount of froth sitting on top of that coffee, wondering if it is really gravy underneath. Grandma Tilly, however, would likely notice the flower pattern and gold edging, reminiscing about her youth when she would pick spring wildflowers for decorations in her hair. My son (someone who is now in his twenties and can be an uncultured swine at times) would notice the cookies; all else would be forgotten. (Some might find it interesting to note that my son's first word was actually cookie. Some things never change.)
When writing a passage that is seeped in show, it is vital to remember whose perspective that scene is written from. The details will change as a consequence. When there are other characters in a scene, the details noticed by your point-of-view character will give us information about the others in the room at the same time as providing information about how the narrator views life.
Buzz Term Hint: When someone is talking about Deep POV, they are talking about the level of show and the perspective through which the story is shown. (If you would like to read more about Deep POV, check out the post Is First Person Really More Intimate?)
However, a story can't be ALL show.
For a large proportion of stories that I review in my capacity as a developmental editor (or book doctor), the show is lacking. There is little grounding in the character or the action. However, a story that is 100% show is actually just as boring to read as the 100% tell. A balance is required, but striking that balance will depend on genre, narrative style, and gut instinct. It's not a one-size-fits-all deal, and to the annoyance of all, there are no magic formulas to getting the balance right. But, it is a skill that a writer develops over time.
Imaging that your character is taking a carriage ride through the countryside from Oxford to Cambridge. Unless something interesting, and relevant, happens during that journey, showing this ride through the countryside would likely put your reader to sleep. There are only so many ways to describe the trees and the jostling of the carriage. Just tell the reader that the journey happened, and be done with it.
In a fight scene, so much action is going on that if you show everything, you'll end up providing a blow-by-blow account of the fight itself. There are times when you need to just tell the reader that your assassin knew her mark would try to punch her, but it was sloppy and easily blocked.
Sometimes, it's just better to tell the story.
Besides that uneventful ride through the countryside, there are other places where it is better to just tell the reader the story.
If the time passes by with nothing worthy of note, then tell the reader that the nights turned colder and the leaves turned red and brown. If life took on a routine that doesn't vary, summarize the events into a few short lines. If a character is telling another character what happened to them along that action-packed journey, again, summarize the event in a few short lines, reminding the reader of the key elements.
And dialogue will be filled with tell. In real life, we'll tell others what it was we saw, or what we did. Your characters will likely do the same.
The level of show is dependent on genre and writing style.
It is a debate that frequently surfaces among writers: how much show should one actually include in their manuscripts? Well, there really isn't an answer, because some genres require more of a telling style of narrative, e.g., the old crime noir novels. Some modern writers are heavy in the tell. (I struggle to name them off the top of my head, because I personally don't like reading that level of tell.) Many classic novels — ones written for a different time and a different audience — are loaded with tell. (Charles Dickens was big on tell and contradictions.)
Does any of this diminish the value of the writing? Certainly not. However, for those writing for today's market, ensure that you know what is expected of your genre.
For the genres that I typically work in (fantasy, science fiction, and thrillers), they are often action heavy and visuals dependent. These genres lend themselves nicely to show-heavy writing styles. But remember that there is a balance between the two.
In practice, I have found that there really is only one way to know if you have the show vs tell balance right: share your work with others. If your balance is off, then others will see it. They might not be able to tell you what is off, but they will be able to highlight an issue.
Meanwhile, I'm going to curl up and hide from the tinkering sounds on my roof and the cold wind.