Every writer goes through moments of self doubt. None of us are immune. It’s a natural part of the process. These feelings come in waves, often striking hardest when we’ve taken a step outside of our comfort zone — sometimes triggered by a setback.
If you scour the internet, you’ll find many inspirational stories where one has pushed through the self doubt and has gone on to bigger and better things. However, none of these stories give you insights into how one might actually push through the self doubt.
In truth, there is only one way: the support of those around you, but not family and friends.
Writers NEED to be surrounded by other writers.
Surrounding yourself with family and friends who love you is always a good thing, but writers also need to be surrounded by other writers. Only other writers will know and understand the trials that a writer faces. Only another writer understands the obsession that writing is — the obsessions that it needs to be. (Wow, that’s a lot of writers in such a short space, but we carry on.)
Let’s face it … so many times, we get the dreaded no, but without the pure obsession, many writers would have given up long ago, rarely making it to the hundredth rejection. (Many writers jokingly say that you’re not a real writer until you’ve received your first rejection.)
But obsession or not, often many of us are struck down by the self-doubt monster, often showing itself in the form of the fraud feeling. While family and friends can make you feel better by offering you that bar of chocolate or cup of tea, only another writer can take it that one step further by giving you solid advice on how to improve and move forward — not to mention the gruesome death scene that they can help you plan out.
Recently, I put out a request for guest blog posts. I sent personalized messages to my various writing circles. There was one who responded with a big case of self-doubt.
“I’m not sure I’m qualified? Not published or anything, so…”
My response to her was simple:
“You write, and you’ve been writing for years. You know how to take an idea and translate it into something on paper. You have faced writer’s block and have developed ways to get through it. You ARE qualified.”
I could tell from the tone of her messages that she perked up after that, but the message of support would not be been as well received if it had come from one who is not a writer. (BTW, the writer in question signed with an agent a few weeks later — a further reminder of her skill as a writer.)
Support networks are found all around you.
Writing can be an isolating activity. For many writers that I know, we work best when there is no one around — no one to disturb our train of thought. However, as I’ve mentioned on many occasions, turning an idea into a masterpiece takes another set of eyes. Sometimes, we are often too close to our stories that we can’t see the forest for the trees.
When possible, I would always recommend finding a local group of writers that you can bounce ideas off of and just reach out when you need reassurances that life as a writer is worth it. However, sometimes personalities don’t click, or perhaps you might live in an area where there aren’t any active writing groups. Regardless, if you look around you, the support networks are everywhere.
On Facebook, you will find many support groups, each targeting different skill sets. I, myself, am active in The Writing Lounge and Jessie’s Wordsmiths, among others. The forums on the NaNoWriMo website are a great place to ask for advice, as are forums connected with the PitchWars community.
There are the critique site such as Scribophile and Critique Circle. And there is the writing community that hangs out on Twitter. (I met my writing partner on Twitter.)
Writers can be found everywhere.
Support networks don’t need to be based in the same genre as you.
Don’t get me wrong, when it comes to understanding what will work and won’t work within a given genre, you need the feedback of those who actually write (and read) that genre. However, if you just need a shoulder to cry on when that rejection letter comes in, genre boundaries melt away — this is a trial that many writers face every day.
I, myself, have been a member of Romance Writers of New Zealand (RWNZ) for over a year now, and guess what: I don’t write romance. While many of my stories do have romantic elements, there is something about the old fashioned Mills & Boon stories that really doesn’t do it for me. Since being involved in the group, I’ve discovered that there is SOOO much more to the romance genre than Mills & Boon, and some of the romantic suspense books have got me sitting on the edge of my seat, but I prefer that thriller component to my stories. I love action.
Yet, RWNZ is the only organisation in my country that is actively doing something to help propel their members onto the international stage. Every year, members get the chance to pitch to visiting agents and acquisition editors from the US and Australia. The chance to pitch is a BIG deal. (Shame that I can’t join them for that, because my stories are of the wrong genre.) But even though it’s an organisation for romance writers, I still get something out of it, and something that is even more valuable than the chance to pitch.
I get to ask questions about working with Amazon, or various marketing tactics, or for thoughts about the GDPR headaches. I can get insights into the self-publishing world. AND I get to hear from some big-named traditionally published authors about the pitfalls of working with agents and publishers, and the things to watch out for. This is all stuff that you won’t easily find on the internet, because for some reason, anything that is post “send the query” seems to be taboo — it’s not a topic publicly discussed. Yet, this is the knowledge I crave.
And to think, my source for this knowledge is from a group whom, for the most part, doesn’t read or write my genres.
It honestly doesn’t matter what genres your fellow writers are working in. For the support you need to make it through the self-doubt and to take your writing career to the next level, you just need to be surrounded by other writers whom you actually get along with. Your little differences are what makes the group work, helping each other where you can.
Within my personal writing circles, I’ve become known as the Queen of Violence, simply because at least one character has to die a gruesome death in every one of my manuscripts. (Sometimes, it’s a whole village.) However, I’ve also become known as the Go-To Person for anything to do with the internet and online platforms. But I rely on others for seeing my way through my own fraud syndrome, with someone often reminding me that I am published, and I do know what I’m doing.
Find your writing tribe. You won’t regret it.
P.S. I’d love to meet you on Twitter or Facebook.
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© Copyright, Judy L Mohr 2018