So, you've joined up to a new social media site. It's only natural that you want to gain followers. Let's face it, you likely joined that social media site so you can forge meaningful connections that will help you in the future to actual sell stuff.
Or did you?
This is where things get a little muddled, because there are many people who delude themselves about the truth of what they're doing—writers in particular.
Social media, regardless of the platform you are talking about, is all about building connections. It's about building those networks. The larger that network is, the better off you will be when it actually comes time to sell a book or whatever.
I'm not saying that you're going to blast "Buy my book" ads to your networks, because that is the LAST thing you should do. But, with fostered connections, when you do mention that you have a book coming out, those networks will help you to spread the word.
It might take years to build those valuable connections, but there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
The right way to network on social media
The right way is as simple as they come: Interact! The more you interact, the stronger those connections become.
Yet, interactions do come with a double-edged sword.
It is social media, and we all know how much of a time suck social media can be. If I don't keep a close eye on how much time I'm spending on whatever platform, I find myself falling deeper down the rabbit hole, in desperate need of a magic potion to climb out again. So many marketing experts say "only 15 minutes a day." Yet, before you know it, 15 minutes becomes 3 hours. (Yep, I've done it. I've been there.)
"But this is about interacting, so I can foster those valuable connections."
Yeah, I'll keep deluding myself right along with everyone else.
As such, in those interactions, we find ways to take shortcuts. But some shortcuts are on the road to negative interactions.
The wrong way to network on social media
There are several ways that could easily be classified as the wrong way to build a network on social media. The biggest one is the automated DMs.
The dreaded auto-DMs
An example of an auto-DM that I've gotten.
If you've been around social media long enough, you would have gotten one of these at some point. The dreaded auto-DMs (or automated direct messages) are those messages that seem to find your private messages from people who just want to sell you something.
Auto-DMs are typically found on Twitter, where someone can't send you a DM unless you follow them. The moment you follow someone, a message is sent from the autobot saying "Buy my book," or whatever noise they want you to do. And users of Twitter HATE them. Yet, people still do it. Go figure.
On Facebook and Instagram, anyone can send you a private message (PM). There is nothing you can do to stop it. BUT, if you don't know the person, those messages are relegated to "Message requests" until you okay them. At that point, you can silence a person.
Avoid the DM/PM negative reaction
If you feel the need to send a DM/PM (like you've been asked to give your email address for some reason or you have a legitimate question that you would like to ask), then send a public message first, asking if it's okay to send a DM/PM, the wait until you have that invite.
There will be some interactions that won't need an explicit "send me a DM" invite, but the invite in some form should be present. And when you do send that DM/PM, also send a public message saying that you just sent a DM, so the recipient can be on the lookout for it.
The "Follow me" comments
These aren't automated, but seem to pepper the big social media platforms to varying degrees. These will be comments that find your feeds in response to something you've posted where people want you to follow them in return.
On Twitter, some hashtags are designed specifically for this kind of interaction. #FollowFriday and #WriterLift are two such hashtags. But on Twitter, these particular types of comments and posts do get swallowed up by the noise. And they are public, so everyone and their dog can see them.
Personally, I've found that these Twitter posts only get annoying when everyone feels the need to retweet or comment back, filling up my notification feed. Thankfully, they are short lived.
An example of a "Follow me" comment I got on Instagram. You can also see my response.
However, it's on Facebook and Instagram where the "follow me" comments are directed at one person and one person only: you! If a commenter puts something like this on your feed, no one else is likely to see it, but they will persist in your notifications until you do something about it.
Let me give you an example of what I mean.
So, I post a photo on my Instagram (which is automatically filtered through to my Facebook author page, Twitter, and Pinterest). Then I get a comment on either Facebook or Instagram that says: "Please follow me," along with either a URL or a username.
(And the latest offender of this got a reply from me telling them that this sort of interaction was rude.)
It's the guy who wants your phone number the moment you shake hands
Back in the days before social media was a thing, you would go out to a bar or a nightclub and some guy would introduce himself. The moment you shake hands, which you do to be polite, he starts asking for your phone number.
"Creep alert!"
Yet, the hunk of a man right next to the creep comes to your rescue and starts having a conversation with you. After a few drinks, phone numbers are exchanged.
The social media platform might not be as daunting or creepy as the nightclub scene, but the same analogy applies. Why, oh why, would I give anyone a direct line to communicate with me privately on that first handshake? Sorry, folks, but I'm a girl who wants to be wooed before I give out my phone number.
Don't be the creepy guy asking for phone numbers
It seems simple, but don't comment directly on someone's personal feeds saying that they should follow you. It's just creepy. Interact with the person. Strike up a conversation. If that person elects to follow you because of your interactions, then you've done well. But never go into a conversation on social media expecting to get something out of it.
But you said that it's about networking, so I can eventually sell stuff…
Yes, that's true. Social media is about fostering connections that you can potentially leverage in the future to help you sell something. But notice that I said potentially.
If you go into social media (any of the platforms) with the view of selling things, you're not going to get very far. But if you go into it with the view of building connections and networks, your interactions will naturally take on a more positive flavor, with people eventually coming to you because it's you.
Share your knowledge and information (within reason). Comment on people's photos and carefully constructed posts, showing your support. Strike up the conversations.
But most important, protect your own reputation. Foster the connections that you find valuable and don't let people push you around on social media. If you have to, mute conversations or block individuals who are just out for the attack.
There is a right way and a wrong way to building a following on social media, and the right way is interacting and fostering those connections that you value and enjoy.