It might seem obvious, but for whatever reason, it isn't. Occasionally, I get the odd email that actually tells me more about the writer than anything else. And when my spidy-sense kick in, I tend to have one response: "Danger, Judy L Mohr. Danger."

I've written before about how those initial communications with an editor play a big role in the working relationship. I've written on the topic a few times, in fact. And there were a few occasions where I've described how I turned a client down because of it.

In today's post, I want to show you how your messages could easily lead to the incorrect assessment of the situation, which could also have a negative impact on a potential working relationship.

A Communication Breakdown

At the end of 2021, I sent out an email to my email list stating that my prices were going up and explaining how I've shifted the business model to help keep my overall costs down for clients. In response to that email, I got the following message:

Hi Judy can you put my manuscript on to kindle after you have formatted it cheers <name removed>

We'll ignore the punctuation. If you're sending a message from a phone, punctuation is often missing. But when I saw that message, I was totally confused. Because of the way that message was worded, I honestly believed that the writer was sending an amended note to a contract for formatting that I knew nothing about.

I had to respond to this email, because I would have felt horrible if the writer had been waiting for their book to be uploaded to Kindle by their formatter and the formatter knew nothing about the instruction.

My email in response was simple.

I think you have sent this request to upload to Kindle to the wrong person. I don't have an active contract with you. I'm not the one formatting your book.

To this came in the next response:

It sounds as though you are difficult to deal with i will move on

I still don't understand how this person came to this conclusion, and of course, I wanted to smooth over any ill will I might have developed with the prospective client. So I sent this:

I'm sorry you think that. I honestly don't know what you're referring to. I have looked through my records and I don't have any contracts with you regarding any editing or anything. I think you have the wrong person in your communications. Sorry.

And of course, I got a response back:

hi Judy no i don't have the wrong person i met you at the writers guild a couple of years ago

Ah… Again, we'll ignore the punctuation, but I finally had something that I could use to find more information about what could be happening. I dug through my email archives from a couple of years ago, and I found a communication with this particular writer that dated back to May 2020.

Back then, the writer in question wanted an editor to look at their nonfiction book. At the time, I was taking on nonfiction works, but as part of my standard practice, I needed to see a sample of his writing. When I asked for this, all I got was a list of chapter names. When I insisted that I see the sample of writing, I was told the following:

I need to think about your offer marketing is my priority before I part with hard earned cash <book name> is the content not only <subject>. Payment appears to be your top priority

In a response back to him at that time, I did apologize if you got the impression that my priority was focused on money, because that has never been the case. But it was clear to me that no matter what I did, I was never going to be the right editor for this person. So, I had withdrawn any offers or quotes given to the writer, stating that it was clear from our communications that another editor would be better suited for him.

So in response to the most recent communications, I wrote the following:

I believe there has been some level of communication breakdown here. I have dug through my records and have found communication with you dated May 28, 2020. At that time, I had withdrawn any quotes or offers that were made to you, because it was clear from communications that I was not the right editor for you.

Based on the most recent communications, that position has not changed. I'm sorry, but I will not be offering you an editorial contract for any services.

I wish you luck for the future.

No response came from the writer—and I didn't expect there to be. But had the writer's initial email not been so cryptic, I wouldn't have felt like I've burned a bridge with a potential client.

Ask. Don't demand!

It's as simple as phrasing your initial communication as a question, not an order. Had I received the question about whether I'm able to format his book, I would have responded straightaway with I don't offer formatting services. But I could have potentially gone an extra mile to help the writer find someone suitable to format his book for him. But because of the derogatory treatment I was given after my initial I-think-you-have-the-wrong-person email, I was not so inclined to help this writer find anyone to help them format the book. I could tell from their communications that they were going to be a problematic client, likely unwilling to pay whatever fee was agreed upon. I would not have wished this problematic person on any editor within my network. Instead, I sent out the warning bells, making sure that those who are likely to be approached by this person knew of the danger that existed.

Ironically, it turns out that other editors in my networks had already had negative dealing with this person, and we spent the rest of the afternoon filling in the rest of the group on the various horror stories. In some respects, I feel bad about this, because it is unlikely that the writer in question is going to be able to find a reputable person to do the work that he requires—none of us want to work with him—for our own reasons. But it just goes to show how important those initial communications really are.

At all times, handle your communications professionally and with respect. If you don't, then it is unlikely that you will get the help require from the editors you are reaching out to.