Too many short sentences make a scene feel stilted

When I was still new to writing, someone told me that to write a good action sequence you had to use a lot of short sentences. The idea was that short sentences were straight to the point and didn't give you a chance to add fluffy stuff. When I was told this advice, I was told that the short sentences would speed things up. Now that I'm more experienced, I know that this was bad advice and fundamentally not true.

Short sentences can be a great device to add emphasis, which is why this misconception exists. When used wisely, the short sentence can create urgency within your storytelling. However, too many short sentences in quick succession will create a stilted feeling in the narrative that is disjointed and slow to read. It can even make things confusing.

In today's post, we're going to discuss the true nature of using short sentences in action sequences.

Realistic Character Occupations: U.S. Army Soldier, Patriot Launching Station Enhanced Operator Maintainer (14T)

To win readers over, we need to write characters so authentic they feel like real people. How do we do this? By brainstorming a character’s backstory, personality, needs, desires, and their day-to-day world. Lucky for us, one aspect of their daily life is a goldmine of characterization: the type of work they do.

Think about it: a job can reveal personality, skills, beliefs, fears, desires, and more, which is why Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi created The Occupation Thesaurus, a writing guide that profiles 124 possible careers and the story-worthy information that goes with each.

However, there was only so much space for only so many jobs.

Those of us at Black Wolf Editorial enjoy reading stories that have one of the elusive spies, assassins, or military personnel. On that note, we've coordinated efforts with one of our military connections to create this special entry to accompany The Occupation Thesaurus.

Staff Sergeant David Feinstein is a U.S. Army soldier with the unique role of being a Patriot Launching Station Enhanced Operator Maintainer (14T). That job title might be a little convoluted, but here, in a nutshell, are the key things that a writer needs to know.

How to Write Realistic and Professional Scenes About Shooting (Guest Blog)

How to Write Realistic and Professional Scenes About Shooting

by Jay Chambers

Let’s face it, most writers are not gun experts. And gathering reliable data about how gun fights actually happen is difficult, because there are a lot of tall tales out there and combat data collection is spotty, but there are a few things that we know.

The behavior of gun-savvy people is easy to observe and replicate in your writing. Here’s what you need to know to write realistic shooting scenes that make you look like a professional who does their homework.

Taking Weapons Overseas: Guest Blog Post

Spy Toys: Seeing in the Dark

When writing our stories, we need to understand all aspects of our characters to help bring them to life on the page. Sometimes, that all important characterization is not about the way a character thinks or acts, but rather the toys that they have at their disposal. Let's face it, James Bond wouldn't be the captivating creature he is without all the gadgets and specially designed toys given to him by Q. Maxwell Smart would be nothing without his shoe phone. Batman would be just some spoiled billionaire without the famous gadget belt. And Judge Dread... Well, Judge Dread is Judge Dread, and he can do whatever he wants, even if it's blow up half the city.

But what about the men and women who are the real counterparts to our favorite spy-like fictional characters? Sure, they have their guns, the knives, and whatever other weapons they can get their hands on, but some gadgets at their disposal feel like they come out of science fiction. I'm talking about the toys they use to help them see their targets.

Everyday Carry for the Spook: Guest Blog Post

Those who work with the intelligence agencies or special forces are often known as Spooks or Ghosts. Well, it turns out that a few of Real Spooks found out about our Assassins, Spies & SAS blog series and decided to lend a helping hand. They love how we just want writers to portray this special breed of characters correctly in a story. They want us to get inside the inner workings of their minds. (Although, some of their inner thoughts might be a little too scary even for me.)

Today's post really was written by a person who works in the intelligence industry. As a thriller writer, Judy L Mohr (the Black Wolf Editor herself) has amassed some creepy contacts. Don't ask. Just accept. And no, you can't ask us for their contact details. Go find your own creepy contacts.

Everyday carry (EDC) is a collection of things you carry with you on a daily basis when you are outside your house. There can, and will, be some variation. However, there will be some items you always carry.

My everyday carry consists of:

My wallet - do I need to explain this one?
My cell phone
A battery pack for my cell phone
A firearm
A knife
$100 in cash (small bills, i.e., $20's)
A multi tool
A signal blocking bag
A flashlight

Now that I have explained what I carry, please allow me to explain some of the items.

Assassins, Spies and SAS. Oh My…

In a recent post, Fight Scenes: Instinct & Perspectives, I spoke about emotional engagement and the perspectives used for writing fight scenes. I touched on fight-or-flight, and how a writer can use that to their advantage. However, I also spoke about believability. If elements of your fight scene delve into the unbelievable, you will lose your reader.

While most people are able to easily visualize how the average Joe will respond in a fight, what their actions would be, and their capabilities, there is one type of fighter that is often used within fight scenes that majority of people can't truly relate to.

I'm talking about those characters who are highly trained to be assassins, spies and special forces soldiers (or SAS, as they are known in some countries). While all of these characters will have different backgrounds and different skill sets, there will be commonalities to the way they behave. Their reactions to a given situation can almost be predicted.

Fight Scenes: Instinct & Perspective

Recently, I have found myself in multiple situations where I’ve been shoulder-tapped to look over the fight scenes of others. It’s ironic that I’ve developed a knack (and a love) for those action-pumping scenes that often result in carnage and death. I’ve come a long way since my husband’s single feedback line of my high fantasy novel (feedback given nearly 8 years ago now): “Your fight scenes suck.”

(Geez… Love you too, hubby.)

However, as much as that original critique strung, I persevered, and analyzed to death what makes a good fight or action scene. (Pun intended.) Now, nearly 8 years later, those action-filled scenes that get the heart pumping pour out of me with ease—and the body count rises significantly.

Category Archives: Crime & Thriller Specifics